Newly Single and Completely Sexless: Relationship Advice Nobody Asked For, but Your Gon' Get It Anyway!

 

Newly Single and Completely Sexless: My Coochie is Crying Out to Me, but My Standards are Screaming “Hell Nah”

Relationship Advice Nobody Asked For, but You Gon’ Get It Anyway

 

Let’s get this out the way: I’m newly single. Not “I’m sad, play Summer Walker” single—no, I’m “hide my phone, block his number, and stop listening to slow jams after dark” single. And on top of that, I’m not having sex. AT ALL! No Voluntarily. No Kind of. Just none!

Now, before you nominate me for sainthood, let me be honest—this self-discipline shit is a ghetto hot mess. Nobody talks about how hard it is to go from consistent (even if it was inconsistently satisfying volunteer work-type) sex to… silence. Dry sheets. Dry phone. Dry life. My body looking at me, asking, “Girl, don’t you miss him, just a little?” And I be like, “No, I miss the regular d! There’s a difference.”

 

The Withdrawal is Real and Very Mean

 

See, people always warn you about heartbreak, but they never mention the post-breakup horndog phase. That period where your coochie starts romanticizing struggle love and filtered memories. Suddenly, you’re only remembering the three times he made you laugh, not the twenty times he texted “wyd” at 11:47 p.m. with no follow-up.

And don’t get me started on those fake deep convos during those uncomfortable cuddles. “You’re different from other girls I’ve dealt with,” he said. Yeah, I was—different enough to deserve better, and now I’m acting like it.

 

The Urge to Text is a Diabolical Sensation

 

Listen! Listen please, the amount of restraint it takes not to slide into old habits is Olympic training level. I don’t care how healed you are—there’s something about late nights, a good playlist, and bad judgment that makes you start scrolling through old texts like it’s the damn Dead Sea Scrolls.

There’s a version of me that only comes out after midnight. She’s dramatic, delusional, and believes men change because you manifested it during your candle-lit bath, while pleading with God. That version of me gotta be silenced immediately with a dose of meds, a hoodie, and Wi-Fi restrictions. Do not disturb posted on my door and my phone in the kitchen cabinet.

 

Self-Discipline Ain’t Sexy (But It’s Necessary)

 

Let me be real—this whole “choosing yourself” thing sounds empowering until you’re pacing your room like you’re on house arrest, talking to yourself like, “You’re better than this. You’re better than him. Put the phone DOWN.”

And you are. I am. We all are.

Self-discipline doesn’t feel rewarding at first—it feels lonely. You’ll question yourself, wonder if celibacy is even worth it, and contemplate becoming a born-again situationship participant. But every time you don’t go back, every time you resist the urge to settle, you’re reinforcing your standards. That’s growth. And baby, that’s the power we’re striving for.

 

How to Ride the Wave (Without Riding the Ex)

 

So, what do we do in the meantime? How do we survive this dry spell without crawling back to the Sahara man that left us dehydrated in the first place?

Here’s what’s helping me:

  • Keep receipts. Literal notes on why you left him and will NOT go back. Read them like affirmations. “He cheated on me with that girl who looks like she’s an exhibit in the “Believe it or Not” museum and those I didn’t find out about.” See? He made me second guess who I was. Block him again just for fun.
  • Get a hobby. Bake something. Paint. Take a walk. Get a Rose, and treat respectfully. Just not that bum ass man!
  • Romanticize yourself. Take yourself out. Buy new sheets. Wear that perfume. The goal is to crave your own energy more than someone else’s drama.
  • Accountability partner. Phone a friend when the urge hits. If they’re a good one, they’ll talk you off the D ledge every time.

 

In Conclusion: Stay Strong, Sis!

Being newly single and sexless feels like punishment at times, especially when your body’s on 10 and your brain is screaming “power & growth.” But the reality is, peace hits different when it’s not followed by disappointment and an “I’m sorry for how I made you feel” text.

So, if you’re freshly out the trenches and trying not to backslide—I see you. You’re not alone. We might be horny, but we’re healing. And we are not texting that man-child. We’re too grown for that shit!

Stay hydrated. Stay unbothered. Stay out his stories.

 

                                                                                                         —MizzLadiR3d💋❤️

 

I've put together some items to create a peaceful and relaxing evening to take your mind off that D! Pamper yourself and show yourself the treatment you deserve💜:

Body Care Items

Goop Instant Glow Body Polish: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYrt

Laurel Bath House Cuffed Body Wash: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYrF

Kiehl's Made for All Body Wash: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYqb

DerMask Soothing Hydra Solution Face Mask: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYqn

Comfy Pj's

TJMAXX Leopard Catnapper Pajama Set for Women: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYtK

Saturn Lurex Pajama Set: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYtO

Cosmos Cropped Feather-Trim Metallic Pajama Set: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYt2

CoCo Pajama Set: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYt9

Slippers and Socks

Versace Underwear Black 'Versace' Allover Towel Slipper: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYuo

Peanuts Women No Show Socks: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYtc

Blankets and Pillows:

Faux Flokati Shag Throw Pillow: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYuI

Royal Luxe Reversible Micromink Throw: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYtC

Ultra Soft Plush Blanket: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYvj

Solid Ultra Soft Plush Blanket: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYwS

Tranquility Weighted Blanket: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYvz

Beautiful Chaos Throw Pillow: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYxa

Stupell Home Decor Fabulous Glam Pillow: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYvN

Solid Beige Blanket: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYvU

Candles 

Sonoma Goods for Life-17oz Sweet Lemongrass: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYxP

Woodwick Island Getaway Ellipse Trilogy 16oz: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYyK

Frama Beratan Scented Candle 60g: https://shopstyle.it/l/cpYyp

* Please noted that the items listed above are affiliate links, I do receive a small commission if you make a purchase. Thank You, in advance!😘


Stop day-dreaming about that old past drama filled man, and allow your forever man, who will treat you right as well as lay your body down correctly, flow into your life with ease!💗

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